I bet I know what most of you are thinking ... that this is another post about PA school. I suppose it is in part, but thinking of the overall general picture it really isn't. It's bigger than that. It's about another thought provoking sermon Adam and I heard at church with Andy Stanley this morning, and the effect said sermon has had on me. The series is called "The Comparison Trap" and we just finished the second part. The first of the series was called "The Land of ER" and the second one "Looking Around." The last one coming up is called "Two Bags Full."
Anyway, the idea behind the first sermon is that we always look to our left and look to our right to see how we measure up to those around us. If we feel outdone by those at our side, we begin to think that we're not good enough, that we're not measuring up, and that we need to be smart-ER or rich-ER or just overall in general bettER. He continued the sermon by pointing out that sometimes when we hear bad news about those that we often compare ourselves to, we deep down inside celebrate their failures because finally they don't seem so perfect anymore. Quite frankly that's gross. But the most disgusting and sickening part of it all is that he full on described me. I guess I could cover up that beast by saying "it's just human nature." Maybe it is. But I don't like it at all. And it doesn't make it ok.
I'm guilty of comparing myself to my classmates. How well we each do on tests or papers, who studies the most. I'm guilty of comparing myself to our friends... the ones who are buying houses and having babies (although I'm pretty certain that's just a jealousy thing because there isn't a dang thing I can do about either of those right now). I compare who vacations at the best spots. Who works out the most. Who's the skinniest. As absolutely ridiculous as this may sound, I'm guilty of comparing who leaves the sweetest anniversary posts to their husbands on facebook, or the best status updates about July 4th, Labor Day, Memorial Day, 9/11. I really hope that everyone else's posts are more sincere than mine sometimes are. How embarrassing for me.
I certainly don't mean to place the blame anywhere than directly on my heart, but social media is a huge culprit. It's planted such an evil seed within me that is growing a nasty, ugly weed. It desperately needs to be plucked. I hate how this all makes me feel. So what do I do about it? Well, the first statement that Andy left us with was this:
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Anyway, the idea behind the first sermon is that we always look to our left and look to our right to see how we measure up to those around us. If we feel outdone by those at our side, we begin to think that we're not good enough, that we're not measuring up, and that we need to be smart-ER or rich-ER or just overall in general bettER. He continued the sermon by pointing out that sometimes when we hear bad news about those that we often compare ourselves to, we deep down inside celebrate their failures because finally they don't seem so perfect anymore. Quite frankly that's gross. But the most disgusting and sickening part of it all is that he full on described me. I guess I could cover up that beast by saying "it's just human nature." Maybe it is. But I don't like it at all. And it doesn't make it ok.
I'm guilty of comparing myself to my classmates. How well we each do on tests or papers, who studies the most. I'm guilty of comparing myself to our friends... the ones who are buying houses and having babies (although I'm pretty certain that's just a jealousy thing because there isn't a dang thing I can do about either of those right now). I compare who vacations at the best spots. Who works out the most. Who's the skinniest. As absolutely ridiculous as this may sound, I'm guilty of comparing who leaves the sweetest anniversary posts to their husbands on facebook, or the best status updates about July 4th, Labor Day, Memorial Day, 9/11. I really hope that everyone else's posts are more sincere than mine sometimes are. How embarrassing for me.
I certainly don't mean to place the blame anywhere than directly on my heart, but social media is a huge culprit. It's planted such an evil seed within me that is growing a nasty, ugly weed. It desperately needs to be plucked. I hate how this all makes me feel. So what do I do about it? Well, the first statement that Andy left us with was this:
There's no win in comparison.
I've got to be honest. This statement wasn't huge for me, but it was definitely a place to start. Even if I do meet some make-believe standard I've set for myself based on someone else's life, am I really going to feel at peace with myself? Accomplished? Will I be happy? The answer is no. If I always try to 'keep up with the Jones' I can imagine how exhausted I would become. Thanks to me being is school, Adam and I don't currently have much room for big expenses at the moment, so keeping up with the Jones isn't really a huge issue -- though believe me, if I could, I'm sure I would. Or I'd try at least. Ugh...gross!
So the second week was definitely more fervent for me. He shared with us Galatians 4:4-7:
But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.
Ok, so this means close to nothing to me without Andy's awesome explanations. With the bible (and also with greek mythology) I always have such a hard time understanding if what's being said is literal or if it's metaphorical imagery designed to paint another picture. But anyway. The bottom line is this. God is my Abba, I am his child. Just as perfect parents don't compare their children to anyone, God doesn't hold any of us to any standard other than those set forth in His individual, perfectly planned will for each of us.
So. I admit to all of this because it humbles me. I've noticed there's quite a bit to learn when I humiliate myself. And if any of you are like me, maybe it can help you, too.
I'll leave you all with a few things that have helped me along lately.
Wow, Katie. What an excellent post. I admit I clicked thinking I'd be entertained by a story about you shadowing Hurt in the ER. But considering the actual topic was something weighing heavy on my heart this morning, I'll take it as a message from above. I find myself looking to others for validation, permission, approval...you name it, but the truth is the only one I need to look to is God. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks for the encouraging words!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Amy. I was really nervous about posting this, but I'm so glad to hear that it encourages you! I'd love to tell you more about the verses he discussed. He definitely went much deeper into them.
DeleteKatie, you are such an inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing these all-to-familiar thoughts and struggles. You are a true woman of God. I love you!!
ReplyDeleteYou're too sweet, Mallory. Thank you. :) Since we're getting all sappy ... you're an inspiration to me, too! I've told you a hundred times that I think you're the sweetest, most loving and energetic mom ever! No one could ever doubt that you love your beautiful child. He is so lucky to have you as his mommy. <3
DeleteWow, awesome post Katie. There are so many things in here I need to hear, and hear again and again. Thanks for sharing. Much of my fear and anxiety in school comes from thinking others are bettER, and I am afraid that will definitely escalate when we get out in the real world. This is great.
ReplyDelete